The Journey Starting with Open
June of 2018, after seventeen and a half years, my department was eliminated. Little did I know how much this experience would start me on a journey that would change my life. I did all the things I was supposed to do when you are severed: complete the necessary paperwork, meet with the outplacement executive coach, up-date my resume, attend webinars, and network. However, my heart felt unsettled not only by the normal grieving process but rather a knowing that there was something I needed to learn, and I didn't know what it was. When the full reality of the situation sank in, I knew I had a decision to make. The choices were to be open to a possibility that was yet to be seen or to let fear and doubt guide the way. I chose to be open.
Be open…
Be open to being…
With an unknown path before me, I followed my intuition and inquired about an invitation to attend the Burren Executive Leadership Retreat in Ireland in August of 2018. Random? Yes. At the retreat, I met a group of incredibly authentic and passionate leaders from throughout the world. We shared a unique experience and our humanity. My life was different because of that time, born of being versus doing. I felt I could finally exhale and breathe again. I had taken the first step on my path.
Within days from returning from Ireland, I began the Mastery Program at the Milan Art Institute I have always been a creative person with my photography and poetry, but I couldn't draw or paint if my life depended on it. The mentor and leader in me, became the curious student who soaked up everything and wanted more. My left brain thinking shifted right and I found myself "seeing" the world with new eyes, yet again. I struggled with fear and battled demons of self-doubt and of not feeling like I was "enough", especially as an artist. Learning that often times our biggest weaknesses become our super-powers.
“Do the thing you fear most, and the death of fear is certain” – Mark Twain
The reality is, anyone can learn the technical skills to paint or draw. To me, the more difficult thing was to find my unique voice as an artist. My instructors were skilled at helping us find that voice. I loved to watch the process as each of my fellow classmates found their voice, be it very detailed with paintings that looked like photographs, BOLD and BRIGHT with BIG brush strokes, beautiful dreamy people or animals, collaged and witty, or fairytale looking and joyous.
My paintings were very different from the rest. One reason is the process I use to create my paintings. Layers of deep rich inks, glass gel beads, acrylics and mark making, luscious oils, and gold mica stone. More importantly, it was because I rediscovered and learned to once again trust my intuitive voice. We all lose our way at times. We get busy. We forget to take time with ourselves to remember. We place our priorities in the wrong place. Life is a learning process. We all learn differently. I learned to listen in a new way and learned to trust that quiet voice within.
In many ways, finding my artist voice was like journeying back to myself.
August 2019, I graduated from the Mastery Program at the Milan Art Institute and participated in my first gallery show at The Marshall Fine Art Gallery in Scottsdale, Arizona. It was amazing to see my paintings on the walls of an art gallery and to hear people speak about my work. My heart is overflowing with gratitude at how much this journey has taught me.
Who knows what the future will bring? I am excited with what it holds for me. My immediate plan is to finish the two commissions I have started. September, I have been asked to speak at the American Society for Pain Management Nursing Annual Conference on "Nursing...the "Art" of it!" In addition, I will be creating a painting for the organization which includes having all the participants make their unique mark on a canvas. The purpose is to demonstrate that while we each make our own unique mark on the world, together we can magnify that mark by being a part of a larger beautiful and unique painting. Just as no painting is identical, neither is any experience we have or contribute to in our lifetime.
Make your unique mark on the world as the world needs it and wouldn’t be the same without it!
What is emerging in you? It is never too late to begin something new. Be it driven by a life change or bravely pursing a dream, what matters is being open to the possibilities that life brings. Take your life experiences, sift out the fear and doubt, mix in some passion, sprinkle with possibility and watch with the eyes of a child as something unique emerges. I wish you well on your journey and thank you for allowing me the honor of sharing some of mine with you.